Chapter 4. Closets, secrets and truth setting you free.

My brother has come out of the closet. He did it on Facebook, on a post.

It feels so liberating, so fresh. I am at peace.

Him coming out makes me realise that we all have closets. We all have secrets we need to hide, and secrets need to be out, otherwise they kill you, slowly but surely.


We all have secrets (closets) we need to hide, and secrets need to be out, otherwise they kill you, slowly but surely.


For some, these closets are their sexual preferences (one day, seriously, one day the gender of the person you go to bed with won’t freaking be something so important that makes it difficult to say and life so hard, it will be not asked or regarded when you meet someone).


Coming out of the closet means telling the truth about something. because the pain of keeping it secret is harder than the paint of telling it.


For others the closets can be feelings, behaviours, actions, ideas, plans… whatever you can imagine. Coming out of the closet means telling the truth about something. This something is tormenting you if you keep it secret. And you, somehow, need to keep it secret, until the pain of doing so is harder than the pain of telling it.

A closet is something that you need to keep as a secret because you believe it won’t be accepted but it is killing you to keep hidden.

So from here, I encourage you to leave the closet. It is crowded, it is tight, there isn’t room enough for your wings. Some people think that their closet is big enough for them to live in but the closet is making them shrink.

The closet does not let you see the world, does not let you live your dreams, does not let you feel free or happy. The closet haunts you, it presses you.

It is worse to stay in the closet than whatever can happen to you by coming out of it. The closet is falsely safe. It makes you believe that you are secure but it is taking your freedom away, bit by bit. The closet is similar to the Caged Life and there is a way out. I write about it at Freeing ourselves from The Caged Life.

We all have closets. And we remain inside because we have a limiting belief that is not letting us advance. Let us find out what that belief is and let us let it go. It no longer serves us.

Step out. Free yourself. Gather courage. Gather momentum. And go!

This is faith.


What’s the worse that can happen to you? Screw it! Let it be then. Remember, you are powerful, you are strong. The opinions of others will only affect you if you let them do so.

The best relationship is the one with oneself. Don’t ignore yourself. Speak up. Tell your truth. Set yourself free.


Tell your truth. Set yourself free.


Here is a copy of my brother’s declaration when coming out of his closet:

Today is National Coming Out Day.
I have decided that this is the day. Many of my close friends and some family know about certain preferences, choices, decisions, whatever.
Some others don’t.
Whilst it’s not a secret to those in the know I have decided that I will not actively keep it a secret anymore. No more half lies, no more half truths.
I am gay, partnered, and extremely happy about it. I have been with a wonderful man for the last, erm, 6 years?, after a relationship that was borderline abusive.
What happened, happened. and the way things were done and said, were done.
I do believe that The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel is one of the most emotionally charged films ever made, especially after one of the characters lived for 50+ years in silence about his life.
I’d rather life a full happy life rather than one shrouded in silence.
I’d rather speak up instead of not.
The character dies shortly after after, however there is a fantastic revelation immediately after. I am rambling on about this, however I am rewatching the best bits.
I would like you to accept my own self as I am, and not your mental image of what I should and should not be. I would like you to actualize who I am the same way as I actualized who I am.
If you do have a problem about any of the above do let me know. I’ll happily unfriend you.
Do not let poor mental health put you down, and speak up.
Do not let your sexuality prohibit you from enjoying your life.
Be happy.
And enjoy life, for it is short and there’s (on the balance of probabilities) only one. 


It is so powerful. And so raw. Cheers, my brother, for this. I hope you help people. I hope it brings light to other dark closets.  The freedom others are seeking is right with them. Brother, welcome to the other side of the closet. I am glad you are here. The wait has been worth it. I am proud of you. You have brought light to my heart. And you will bring hope to others who are still waiting to be ready to open those doors and step out. The air is fresh. Let me embrace you. Let’s walk together. Let me show you all you have missed. I hope freedom feels as good as a pair of super cool new shoes. Or better. Let the truth set you free my brother. And so be it. xx


PS: Here I leave a link to a video from Ash Beckham about Coming out of your closet and how closets are unspoken conversations:


2 thoughts on “Chapter 4. Closets, secrets and truth setting you free.

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