We decided to go with the kids to the Sydney Zoo last week. During our visit, we saw a big bird, its name is cassovary. The bird was going in circles, up and down its cage. At that moment it hit me. I have been doing the same movements. I was the big bird. I realised I am caged. And this is the reason why I want to travel around the world so badly. I have a life I don’t like. I seem to be waiting for the big thing to happen. Friday arrives and I feel liberated, but then the Sunday blues strikes and I hate it. I feel sad, I feel empty. I feel I am wasting my life, waiting for something that never comes. I have started seeing retired people and longed and envied their free time. I miss Evan during the week, and so do the kids. And I hate missing him.
I was the big bird. I realised I am caged.
I am always amazed by people who can live in the same place for most of their lives. I can’t do that. I need to see the world. I need to change as the landscape changes. I need to change like the people from different countries change, the culture, the environment. Life. I need the flow of life that the earth has to offer. And I need the sea.
In Africa, people believe that the white people see the ocean as our healing centre. And it is true. I need the salt in my skin, the humid air on my face.
I need to get back in contact with nature, I need to go down with the sun and count the stars above. I want to be able to kiss my husband when my lips need it, hug him when my heart pumps for it.
I want my kids to have their dad when they need him, when they want to play with him.
I want to tell the kids that dreams are to be lived, that the world is theirs, that they can do anything they imagine. I want to show them who we truly are. This is life kids, this is it.
I need to get out, I want to go, I want to see.
Reality is boring, so I need to make up different moves, things, so I can cope with boredom. Like the bird, stereotyping, running around in circles, I have found myself burning energy that I am not putting into my dream. Yet.
I have reached a state where I can’t make up any more ways to distract me. Kids watch tv and get away from reality, people go to pubs to change the way they feel about their lives. This routine is not for me!
And this is why we are planning on travelling around the world. We want to be interested in life in a daily basis. See the world. I don’t want to hate Sundays. I want to love them. I want to see how this non-sense makes no sense. And see it from the distance. See how it feels when the only thing you do is live your dream. And see what life has in stock for us. Because I know once you follow your dream, the universe rewards you with really cool stuff. Let this cool stuff come our way.
Sometime ago, Evan and I were chatting and I remember he said: “we had kids so early, we missed travelling, we missed doing so many things”. Surely we didn’t plan on having kids so early but I couldn’t resist to think that making the kids early arrival responsible for our current life was not a comfortable idea. We then started to research and find people who were travelling around the world with their kids, we found the Zapp family and their “Sparkle your Dream” book: a couple who left Argentina in the car 2000 to reach Alaska in their 1928 Graham car and who have been travelling around the world since, their kids have been joining them along the way (being born in different countries) and they haven’t stopped travelling since, the world is theirs already. Check their website here.
We have decided that we are going to sail. Sail the oceans, the seven seas. And no, we don’t have any sailing experience, and yes, we will learn, because we are so driven, so excited, and we are focused. We are soaking in all travelling and sailing information.
We are looking for a boat, we need a boat. And we are looking for people to share their knowledge and experience with us.
And we are looking for people to take over our house, because we are selling it.
Thank you for reading. There will be more. By for now.
Here is the poor big bird. Caged.